The day I received an unfamiliar package in the mail was the day that changed my life. You see, I am talking about the hashtag #AUTHENTICME. It was a contest that I forgot that I entered through O Magazine. It helped me embrace authentic me.
I remember that it was a stressful day and I had been questioning so many things. Imagine my joy when I opened the box that included a mini chalkboard, a box of chalk and the book “O’s Little Guide to Finding Your True Purpose.”
The universe has a way of putting things in front of you when you least expect it. Let me tell you what that beautiful gift did for me. It made me take off a layer that had made me comfortable.
It was in the form of getting Botox/Dysport injections due to Bell’s Palsy paralysis. That happened in 2000 when I was pregnant, and in May 2014, I started getting my smile back from the best plastic surgeon Dr. Jonathan Kulbersh.
Back in December 2013, this was me before injections. I felt ugly, but looking back now I should have been kinder to myself. This was my go-to smile because it was subtle. Present-day me would have wanted to give myself a pep talk.
When I did get Botox for the first time it allowed me to reemerge as a writer. I launched my blog in 2016. I was able to get comfortable in front of a camera again. It was life-changing.
However, what if changing my appearance hindered something inside on a deeper level?
I wanted to look better to feel good about myself and still be an attractive wife. Yet, a part of me down the road knew that it was a form of insecurity. So, what does it mean being the ultimate authentic version of myself?
Recently, I had an acupuncture appointment for the first time ever. After that appointment, my gut told me to make a shift. A considerable change that meant taking a break from Dysport. I had no plans before this to do that.
Bringing symmetry to my face gave me confidence and motivation. It became part of my new persona. This traumatic event helped shape me into who I have become. That is not a bad thing at all. I am forever grateful.
Yet, I believe it has given me the kind of confidence that I can now embrace fully. Even if that means taking a break from Dysport injections, this allows me to try and get my full authentic self-back. I don’t have to hide from being me.
It is like giving myself a big hug. Fully embracing the woman that is me. The true me. I have come to accept the fact that I must love myself first.
I see other women doing it all the time. It is like the heavens part and they are given a new revelation. A reason for living life to the fullest.
I am trying out a holistic approach. Not only for my face but for my overall health and well-being. I like to think of it as another chapter of my life story.
This is another part of my journey. I might not have immediate results from acupuncture, supplements and cleaner eating right at this moment. However, I can tell you what I do have.
I have the courage to look in the mirror and say “You got this.”