When chasing your dream means letting go. Sometimes you start chasing the wrong things. That is when it is a good time to reflect on what might not be working.
It is so easy to get caught up on all the latest technology and community groups online. Although those are great maybe letting go of some will help you be more productive.
It can be super stressful trying to manage multiple social media platforms. You can easily get caught up on what everyone else is doing and start to compare yourself to others. Why not choose one or two platforms to be on instead?
Take a Hiatus
Think about taking a small break from some of those things. Maybe you are not quite ready to let go of it yet. That is perfectly normal too.
Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care. It simply means that you are putting your energy into other things. Tasks or moments that will keep you on track to productivity with your dream.
Moms are constantly in overdrive. If you are a mom, you get this. You are busy balancing work, life, family and then you have your dream. Pursue your goals without the mom guilt.
What does it all mean though?
Do you do all the obligatory tasks before you work on
yourself? Does it make you selfish if you put those tasks to the side? These are
questions that you must ask yourself regularly.
When did it become okay to put your dream on hold? Mom
guilt tends to do that. It’s never done on purpose of course. This doesn’t mean
that you forget about the important things that make up your daily life.
Give Yourself Permission
It does mean giving yourself permission to pursue the things that make you happy. The kind of stuff that gets you excited. You see you were meant for more in this crazy life.
You can still be the best mom, friend, wife etc. That
part doesn’t change. When you postpone your dreams and goals life ends up
You are made up of such tiny intricate pieces that make you unique. Each piece is part of who you are meant to be. Pieces that end up completing the puzzle due to the decisions that you made.
We all have a destiny, right? It doesn’t just happen in your favorite television series, a fairytale or in someone else’s life. Yes, even the Hallmark Channel. Your destiny has a higher rate of becoming real when you let go of the mom guilt.
The guilt that tugs at your heartstrings for wanting
to become a better person. You can still be a good person, but pursuing your
calling takes it to another level. You impact your well-being in a positive way.
Dreams aren’t easy when you have so much that you’re
responsible for. Yet that is part of the appeal for some of us. There is something
about that challenge that makes you want it more.
Make Your Goals A Priority
Begin having those conversations with your loved ones.
Tell them all about it. Explain why it is important to include that time on
Find a way to prioritize the main things that will add value to your life. Put them in order of importance and remember to be flexible. What worked for one week may not work for the next one.
Be okay with that because it’ll make you more
adaptable. Everyone gets 7 days a week and 24 hours a day. What you decide to
do with that time is everything.
You will have busy days, challenging days, but most of
all you will have great days. It might be a day where you aren’t working on
your dream, but you are spending time with a loved one.
That still contributes to your well-being. Fill your days
with the things that matter. Whatever you do don’t jump on the comparison train.
You will end up being very disappointed.
Stop Feeding the Naysayers
Yes, society tries to dictate how and if we should do
things. You will encounter the know it all’s and the dream crushers. They feed off
What do you then? You starve them by not giving them
the fuel to keep that going. Instead, find your circle that want the best for
Talk with other moms that you admire and ask
questions. How did they make it work? Implement their advice if it suits your
If you are someone that is struggling with mom guilt don’t feel bad. Let it go and move forward with an optimistic mindset.
Set up your plan of success by starting today what you
thought you’d do one day. Your one day can be now.
Do your best to start looking towards the horizon and
your best to not looking back. That goal that you see in the distance isn’t as
far as you think.
This is the time to figure out how to do more of what you love. It’s like getting handed a clean slate and getting a do over. You must find time to explore your options.
By doing so you open yourself up to new possibilities. Feel like procrastinating? Ignore that feeling if you can.
What have you enjoyed in the past that you let go of? We all have that one thing that we used to do. So how can you revisit that idea?
Start with making a list of what made you happy. Did you do anything by yourself, with a loved one or with a friend? Think of one new thing that you would like to try.
Break up old routines
Are you going day by day by doing the same old things? If so, change that. Put a twist on what you normally do. Work out at night if you are typically a morning person.
Some of you work a day job, rush home to get dinner going or to catch up on household chores and/or spend time with a family. Then before you know it you are in bed drifting off. Only to wake up and do it again the next day.
Now is your chance to add value to your well-being. You get to decide what you can do for fun. Were you once an artist, a poet, a self-made chef, or a sports enthusiast?
The only way to break up old routines is by creating new ones. Take inventory of what you have to do daily. Now, see where you can include some time that allows you to doing more of what you love now.
Set a date for the fun stuff
You have had the chance to think about it. Now what will you do about it? Think about what you want your week to look like. Make time to do what you love with a family member, by yourself or with a friend.
Set a date on your calendar weekly to do these things. No need to wait for a special occasion. Your happiness is depending on you alone.
It all begins with valuing your time. It can be time well spent or time wasted. Why not make it memorable then?
By associating value with all the things that are important to me.
We have all been there at the beginning of a new year. The lure of finding your word of the year. For me, it was thinking about how my word helps me recognize value.
For some people it is easy to know what their word will be. Yet, there are those that keep pondering what word they want to use.
I chose the word time. It was one of those epiphanies that came together for me. I imagined a clock, an hourglass and myself all in one big room.
Those things intersected with one another. It was one
of those moments where I felt that I had infinite wisdom. Others call that the
light bulb moment.
I saw my life before me and I started to recognize where I had valuable pieces. My family, my friendships, my writing life, career and goals.
A four-letter word is empowering
The idea that I could oversee how I spent my time
brought me empowerment. Not a dread of what I didn’t want to do. It was coming
to the realization that my word of the year had a lot more power to it.
Time would be a factor that I couldn’t ignore daily.
Instead of whining about time that I didn’t have I’d get to enjoy time that has
always been there. It is about creating experiences that mean something.
For example, spending time with my family means being all in. Listening intently on what my loved ones must share. Not waiting for a different day to do something with them. Being the last minute catch a plane type of gal in order to visit loved ones.
There is beauty in doing those things when you allow yourself to. It’s moving excuses to the nearest trash can and saying goodbye. Ditching the distractions once and for all.
Having structure is good but having some wiggle room to do fun things in between is great. Being spontaneous can be good for you. So many times we put off what we can do today for a day that never comes around.
Take inventory of your time
I noticed that it is up to me to manifest what I desire in these areas of my life. Have you ever thought about how you spend your time? It is helpful to take inventory of where your time is wasted. I’m in no ways perfect, but definitely more mindful.
Those wasted moments are enough for me to be intentional about the things that I value. If you’re not careful you can get sucked into a funnel of missed time. Moments where you could have done meaningful things.
That could mean self-care time, going out with a friend along with working on your dream or goals. These things all take up a spot on your calendar. Those are your minutes to spend how you please.
My time has not changed in the number of hours and minutes that I have with each day. I’m like any other person with the same 24 hours. Each passing year is a reminder of that sand passing through the hourglass.
That is enough to be thankful that my word of the year is time. So whatever word that you have chosen make it count. Only then will you see the true value that it holds.
Sometimes as moms it feels like we must put on this facade that everything is okay. Moms can embrace not being okay. It doesn’t matter the age your children are either. Whether they are little or are in college moms feel it all.
When your children reach milestones, you feel all the emotions. Each stage is a gift, but also a reminder that your children are growing up. You celebrate them together whenever you get the chance to.
Being a mom of young men, it has been quite the journey. I have been there through it all and have so many more milestones to experience. I will welcome them, but I still feel all the feelings that come my way.
Take off the cape
I want to tell you that you don’t have to feel like you are Wonder Woman each day. When your child goes to kindergarten it’s okay to cry. That when your child goes off to college it’s okay to miss their presence in the home. By the way, you will cry then too.
Yes, people will tell you all the great things associated with these milestones. They mean well. On the other side of that is to make sure you express how you feel. Each person has their own process on dealing with these moments.
Taking Your Shortcomings from One Year to the Next
Taking your shortcomings from one year to the next is beneficial. How do you do that?
First, look at what things didn’t work for you in the past year. Maybe that was starting a new project that you never completed. Possibly, you intended on working out and losing weight, but you didn’t.
Make a list of the things that didn’t work out on a sheet of paper. Now answer as honestly as you can on why they didn’t. What could you have done differently?
Many times, you don’t succeed at something because you gave up too soon. This is part of procrastination and being human. So, give yourself some grace.
Decide what you will do this year
Look at the list of things that didn’t work along with your answers on why they did not. Take out a new sheet of paper. Make a list of the things you will decide to do.
Yes, it’s that kind of list. It’ll look super intimidating and maybe even a carbon copy of last year’s list. That’s okay.
What you are trying to do is see what you are willing to say yes to. That’s the game-changer right there. Your self-talk has a lot of say in this.
On one shoulder you have your cheerleader getting you all pumped up. Yet, on your other shoulder, you have the skeptic. The one trying to convince you that it’s a bad idea or not good enough for you.
Here is where you decide what part of yourself that you will listen to. The things that you choose to spend time on will dictate your results. Plan on dedicating time to the “yes” things on your list.
Those will be the things that will determine your success. Make yourself a priority. Even if it means saying no to old habits.
It won’t be easy at times but learn to start the process. You owe it to yourself to find out what you can do. Instead of regretting not ever trying or putting in the time.
Set yourself up for success
Check back with yourself at the end of each day. Give yourself a pat on the back for what you did accomplish. Take it one day at a time.
You have the opportunity to do some amazing things this year. Whether those things are personal goals or professional ones you get to choose. That is a big deal, my friends.
My word this year is “time.” I get to choose how I spend it and how I will respect it. It’s huge on my list because it’ll encompass all that I care about with every minute. From spending quality time with loved ones and on myself.
As you can imagine I plan on making sure I learn all that I can from last year. It’s a chance to get a fresh perspective on it all. Like I said it all goes back to my word of the year.
In the meantime, I’ll leave it at that. My future success is waiting for me. The same holds true for you. Just wait and see.
The idea of starting something new can feel overwhelming at first. When I decided to launch my own stationery cards, I had no idea where to start. However, I talked with my good friend Linda Mendible and she helped with that process.
I came up with the words and she helped with the design by using Canva . It was a match made in heaven. It was important for me to get them as perfect as possible.
I wanted the cards to be simple, pretty and easy to give to someone. Going through a local printer was something that felt dear to my heart. Working with someone in my community helped me support a local business too.
I found it easy to sell my cards through Etsy. The other way was by using social media to help spread the word. Don’t forget that word of mouth is still a great way to go.
Getting started is the hardest part because of fear. It doesn’t have to be that way. Maybe you want to launch something too. Do you feel like you don’t know where to start?
Grab a notebook and a pen. Write down what it is that you would like to do. Include what you already know and what you need to research in order to get started.
Ask other people how they did it. Is there someone that you know that can help guide you? Consider investing in a coach that can help you set up a plan.
Your mindset plays a huge role in all of this too. If you think that you can’t you won’t. If you believe that you can you will.
I came up with writing several cards before I settled on the right ones. That is how I came up with the Dream Collection.
This collection was meant to inspire others to keep going. To think about continuing with that dream in their heart.
Everyone has a talent. That special something that they are meant to do. You will never know it until you try.
Think about all the things that you have tried in your lifetime. Some were easier than others, right? The good news is that when you do the initial legwork it isn’t as complicated.
Give yourself some grace when you begin the process. Don’t expect to know everything either. It all works by trial and error. If it doesn’t work the first time you must keep going until it does.
Go ahead and dust off what you are waiting to start. It’s a good day for making one of your dreams come to life.
Start Doing Instead of Postponing Memorable Moments
Two of the many phrases people often say is “In a minute or One of these days.” The very phrases that have constituted the delay of enjoyment. How often have you said those phrases? Imagine that you could have a do-over.
A chance to give a different reply instead of putting it off or not doing it at all. What would that look like for you?
If you are a parent, then most likely you have been guilty of saying the above. What ends up happening is you end up missing out on a lot of memorable moments.
The busyness of our lives has gotten a hold of our ability to just be. To be able to say something other than no or not right now. At times it’s necessary. However, I’d like to bet that most of the time we can simply go with it.
Give Yourself Permission
We can allow ourselves to make memories with those that seek our undivided attention. To look up at the clouds and describe what we see with our kids. Or maybe it is to walk hand in hand with our significant other under a starlit night sky.
You see what can happen when you start to say yes instead of in a minute or saying not right now? Listening to what someone else has to say is a gift to be treasured. It shows that you value what that person has to say.
Making a child, a friend or a loved one a priority by participating during the moment. That is everything. There are so many opportunities that we tend to miss out on.
Most of the time it’s not even on purpose. The daily grind of routine habits takes us away from the very things that can be dear to our heart.
Saying no not right now ends up costing you time. It is time that is lost instead of well spent with others. What will you say yes to from now on?
The time to say yes is right now
Getting a chance to do a do-over is a big deal. Imagine all the good that can come out of it when you stop delaying the meaningful things. Allow yourself to take a break from whatever it is that you’re doing.
If your family wants your attention, then give it to them. If your child wants to build a fort, then go for it. Even if it means that you are in the middle of something else. In time they will grow up and go off to college.
They will end up growing up faster than you think and then you will wonder where all the time went. So yes, do all the things. Saying yes means not letting life pass you by.
You might have to delay getting your chores done or the task at hand incompleted. Yet, there is something special in knowing that you will be rewarded in return.
It means stopping long enough to pause and take it all in without being in a rush. That’s what living life to the fullest means when you give in to the right things. Your return of investment can’t be measured by any monetary amount.
Instead, it is of much higher value. The kind that gets remembered rather than forgotten.
December is my all-time favorite month of the year. Although it may seem like there is so much to do, it’s more than that for me. Christmas cards help you stay connected. Each year I receive Christmas cards from good friends. They have sent them faithfully to me and my family.
Seeing a familiar return address brings a smile to my face and adds more love to my heart. Now you can send e-cards but holding a card in your hand is a gift.
Each friend that takes the time to do that for me makes them more special. Don’t get me wrong all my friends are dear to me, but I’m a softie for getting a Christmas card. I love words and their added value to my life.
Friendships are meant to be treasured. Sending a card or being able to spend some time with a friend goes a long way. If distance separates you find a way to reconnect.
Find the perfect card
Go the extra mile to finding that meaningful Christmas card. It’s easier to pick something quickly but take an extra few minutes in the right one. Do it the way someone has done it for you.
What would you like your recipient to think of when they open your card?
Besides reading what is on the card, it brings back memories for me. Especially if I can remember certain things I did with that friend. It could be a mom to mom moment when our kids hung out together and so many other things.
It’s a reminder of time well spent. What do you think about when you get a card? Think of the ways that person has enhanced your life.
How do you think that you have enhanced theirs? Maybe being busy with life has caught up with you and you have lost touch. What better way to revive that than by sitting down and writing down a sentiment on a card?
Our daily lives have somewhat taken over the things that we used to do. Sure, technology has made it easier to contact others, but it isn’t always the same.
Cards make you feel something inside
Think about when someone sends you a hug by way of emoji on your phone. Now think about how it feels to get that hug in person. Cards lean more on that end when you aren’t there in real life.
Find a card that reflects your personality. So, when your friend or loved one receives it, they won’t forget it. It’ll stay memorable and fresh in their minds.
There is still time in December to brighten someone’s day with a little sentiment. Dig deep and figure out who that person is that is deserving of a beautiful card.
Finally, put a stamp on it and make your way to the closest mailbox. Then sit back and relax. Picture their surprise when they see it’s from you.
*Disclosure: At times I have the opportunity to receive a discount, service or product in exchange for sharing my experience. The following is one of those opportunities through Skin Raleigh.
Your skin care routine changes throughout the year depending on the season. In my case, it has also changed due to being in my forties. Winter skin care maintenance is essential. Currently, I have a love/hate relationship with my skin.
When I was younger, I would get blemishes and that part hasn’t changed depending on the time of the month. When I entered my thirties, I started to notice brown spots that were subtle at first. I learned that I had developed Melasma and that I had a mild case of Rosacea.
Needless to say, I didn’t sign up for either one of those things. Part of it is my ethnicity being a Latina and hormonal changes have exacerbated the symptoms. I was smart enough to seek a dermatologist and that is how I officially found out what was happening to my skin when I was in my thirties.
Most recently, I made an appointment with Skin Raleigh and decided to try a HydraFacial. Chelsea was great informing me of what I could expect with my first time. Due to having Melasma, she omitted the LED light step because of it.
The treatment takes less than one hour
A HydraFacial is good for any type of skin. Microdermabrasion tends to feel more invasive for some people including myself. That is why I opted to get this type of treatment and more so to help with my hyperpigmentation.
The process involves a wand with a special tip that serves as a mini vacuum to suction out the impurities. It also releases special serums during the treatment. It feels very light and a cool sensation across your skin. It includes exfoliation, extraction, hydration and a booster specific to your needs.
Some might experience a slight tingling during the treatment, but it is normal. You are in and out under an hour.
I would love to say I am one of those people that can post the beautiful post-glow pic, but I am the opposite. My face is sensitive and afterward, I had redness on different parts of my face.
Being self-conscious I was not ready to show that pic to the world. However, in order to be fair, I decided to share the before and after photos. For the record, this one is out of my comfort zone, but transparency is something that I believe in. Actually. its empowering to be vulnerable here.
The good news is that the redness does go away after a while. I can tell you that I did put makeup on after my appointment because I had errands to run. That evening I took my makeup off and my skin felt as clean as it did that morning after my treatment.
Prevention is the key to maintaining healthy skin
Things to remember no matter what your age is to use sunscreen daily. Go invest in proper skin care. Hydration is important in keeping your skin moisturized.
For midlife women, it isn’t too late to start now. Go to a professional that can figure out what is happening to your skin. There are ways to reverse certain types of skin damage. A professional can help recommend treatments, products or direct you to a more specialized path such as laser, fillers or even Botox.
Past neglect in skin care can take its toll on your skin. However, the faster that you start the more likely you will be able to improve the condition of your skin. Doesn’t that sound worth it?
I encourage you to try a HydraFacial and see what you think. For me, I look forward to seeing improvement in my skin tone over time. I believe in enhancing what you’re born with and a little TLC goes a long way.