Posts tagged family

Moms Can Embrace Not Being Okay

Moms Can Embrace Not Being Okay

Lucy Brummett
Reflecting on so many things.

Sometimes as moms it feels like we must put on this facade that everything is okay. Moms can embrace not being okay. It doesn’t matter the age your children are either. Whether they are little or are in college moms feel it all.

When your children reach milestones, you feel all the emotions. Each stage is a gift, but also a reminder that your children are growing up. You celebrate them together whenever you get the chance to.

Being a mom of young men, it has been quite the journey. I have been there through it all and have so many more milestones to experience. I will welcome them, but I still feel all the feelings that come my way.

Take off the cape

I want to tell you that you don’t have to feel like you are Wonder Woman each day. When your child goes to kindergarten it’s okay to cry. That when your child goes off to college it’s okay to miss their presence in the home. By the way, you will cry then too.

Yes, people will tell you all the great things associated with these milestones. They mean well. On the other side of that is to make sure you express how you feel. Each person has their own process on dealing with these moments.

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Start Doing Instead of Postponing Memorable Moments

Start Doing Instead of Postponing Memorable Moments

Two of the many phrases people often say is “In a minute or One of these days.” The very phrases that have constituted the delay of enjoyment. How often have you said those phrases? Imagine that you could have a do-over.

A chance to give a different reply instead of putting it off or not doing it at all. What would that look like for you?

If you are a parent, then most likely you have been guilty of saying the above. What ends up happening is you end up missing out on a lot of memorable moments.

The busyness of our lives has gotten a hold of our ability to just be. To be able to say something other than no or not right now. At times it’s necessary. However, I’d like to bet that most of the time we can simply go with it.

Give Yourself Permission

We can allow ourselves to make memories with those that seek our undivided attention. To look up at the clouds and describe what we see with our kids. Or maybe it is to walk hand in hand with our significant other under a starlit night sky.

You see what can happen when you start to say yes instead of in a minute or saying not right now? Listening to what someone else has to say is a gift to be treasured. It shows that you value what that person has to say.

Making a child, a friend or a loved one a priority by participating during the moment. That is everything. There are so many opportunities that we tend to miss out on.

Most of the time it’s not even on purpose. The daily grind of routine habits takes us away from the very things that can be dear to our heart.

Saying no not right now ends up costing you time. It is time that is lost instead of well spent with others. What will you say yes to from now on?

The time to say yes is right now

Getting a chance to do a do-over is a big deal. Imagine all the good that can come out of it when you stop delaying the meaningful things. Allow yourself to take a break from whatever it is that you’re doing.

If your family wants your attention, then give it to them. If your child wants to build a fort, then go for it. Even if it means that you are in the middle of something else. In time they will grow up and go off to college.

They will end up growing up faster than you think and then you will wonder where all the time went. So yes, do all the things. Saying yes means not letting life pass you by.

You might have to delay getting your chores done or the task at hand incompleted. Yet, there is something special in knowing that you will be rewarded in return.

It means stopping long enough to pause and take it all in without being in a rush. That’s what living life to the fullest means when you give in to the right things. Your return of investment can’t be measured by any monetary amount.

Instead, it is of much higher value. The kind that gets remembered rather than forgotten.

A Second Blog Anniversary Keeps Me Going

A Second Blog Anniversary Keeps Me Going

 

Pursuing a dream is comparable to the work that you put in when you work out. You have a combination of sweat, tears and continuous hard work. It’s an almost love/hate relationship. Here I am, and I’ve arrived at the second year of my Blog Anniversary.

Time has surely flown on by. Every single step has been worth it. That is how far your passion takes you when you are willing. I stress on the word willing because that is the game changer.

Some people don’t know that I’ve been a writer for so many years. I was a writer before I ever became a blogger. I wrote for free for a while before I made a dime at writing.

However, my commitment is what has kept me going. Have I always been committed? Well I can tell you that I didn’t always feel like staying committed. There is a difference.

You could say that I took a hiatus from writing on a regular basis. Now that I’ve hit mid-life I realize that I don’t have any time to waste. No waiting for the right time either.

It’s a sink or swim mentality. Sounds harsh doesn’t it. That is what it takes to make it with anything that you’ve never done.

Have you ever felt like quitting something because it got too hard?

Keep Going Do It Anyway

That is what a dream does for you. You face the unknowns like a leaf shaking in the wind. You stumble and fall through all the uncertainties but manage to get back up.

You keep on going despite how hard it gets. These past couple of years has taught me about: grit, patience, gratitude, doubt, excitement, being consistent and staying committed to the course.

I have a strong passion for writing inspirational posts and articles that make you feel good. It gives me a lot of joy when a reader tells me something resonated with them. That right there is why I write.

If I can touch a heart, then I’ve done my job. I am super grateful for the friendships that I have made through blogging and for the wonderful opportunities that have come my way.

Be Willing to Continue Learning

I’m continually learning new things. You’d better believe there is never a dull moment. I still don’t know everything, and I’m blessed to work with Linda Mendible because she helps with the behind the scenes that I may not know the answer to with technology. On top of that she is an experienced blogger as well. She is my saving grace.

Honestly, I wouldn’t want to know how to do everything. Part of the excitement with a dream is learning along the way. You figure out what works and what doesn’t. If you can’t do it alone then you ask for help.

I’m finally at a point where I am working on my own book after all these years.  I also started my own podcast Arrows & Lattes on top of everything else. That’s the beauty of sticking with something and staying consistent. Sometimes I’m curious about the future and what it will bring my way.

In the meantime, I focus on what I can bring to the table. I aim to inspire, encourage and make a difference whenever I can. If I can pursue my dream all while having a family and a full-time job, then you can follow your dream too.

So, here’s to my second year doing what I love and celebrating my blog anniversary. A huge thank you to all that have come along the journey with me. I know my muse is proud of me, but most importantly so am I.

High School Graduation Means Letting Go

High School Graduation Means Letting Go

The minute your child enters kindergarten you are already prepping for milestones. Yet, when it is time for their senior year that is when reality sets in. High School graduation means letting go.

This is where I was most recently with our youngest and several years ago with our oldest. All sorts of emotions start to come about. Often, I think I’d like to revert back to accidentally stepping on Legos. This would allow me the opportunity of reliving their childhood once again.

Sounds extreme doesn’t it? I mean who would want to step on tiny hard plastic pieces? Or maybe I’d like to push my kids on a swing again at the park.

Reminiscing Good for Your Soul

I remember when our kids were little I thought that graduation seemed so far away. I don’t think that I took my time for granted, but the progression of time speeding by seemed unlikely.

Back then being part of their moments with growing up felt like time was standing still. As if I was in a time-lapse photography session with each milestone that was reached. Teaching our kids how to walk or my husband teaching them something that I didn’t know how to do.

It was all part of the process as a family. Being connected on a level so deep that the thought of them growing up seemed so far away.

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Doing More of What You Love

Doing More of What You Love

Each day is a chance to doing more of what you love. Looking at your days of the week may show you a pattern. You might notice that you are doing the same things throughout the week. How do you break out of that cycle?

This doesn’t mean you abandon your responsibilities, but rather explore ways to add value to your day. Maybe you have thought of visiting a place on your wish list. It could be something small or something that you need to plan.

With careful thought you could find yourself doing more things that make you happy. Maybe you are waiting for your significant other to take the lead. Instead you pour yourself into being busier. One word of advice: stop and instead you take the lead.

If you work, you may find that you are too busy to plan outside of your normal routine. People often make it harder than what it is. You could look at your day in two ways.

You work a set number of hours. Then you go on to other responsibilities whether that is on your own or with your family or significant other. The second way is to carve out some time where you get to enjoy something different.

Maybe that is getting together with a friend. If you are a parent maybe you try something new with your kids. It doesn’t have to be expensive, but it does have to provide enjoyment. You can work the daily grind and do it all over the next day or you could change up your routine today.

Don’t neglect the signs around you

What if you neglect noticing the signs around you that you miss out on it?

It happens all the time. Especially if you work a 9-5 job. A friend asks you to get together, your child asks to spend time with you or a loved one hints for some quality time together. How many times have you missed out on a chance to make memories?

Those are the things that you’ll remember you loved doing. Put your cell phone down, get off your laptop and give in to these moments. They are the things that will make you happier.

Change up the way that you do things. See a movie during the week instead of the weekend. Eat at a special restaurant instead of waiting for your birthday. Say yes to an invite instead of wondering if you should go or not.

It’s okay to continue working hard at your job and on your dreams. Although it’s important to remember that we all get the same hours in one day, in one month and in one year.

Give yourself time to indulge in the little things, the big things and anything else in between. Feeling more fulfilled at the end of the day will be your reward. You’ll be able to go to bed with a smile on your face.

If you could do more of what you love today, what would it be?

Lucy Brummett
Enjoying my first photo shoot. It was a blast!

Ask Lucy: Finding Balance in the Chaos

This weeks question comes from Natalie.

“I live a very busy life. I work full-time, have a family and feel as though I’m pulled in so many directions. How do I take the chaos out of my day-to-day and still stop to smell the roses?”

Being a busy mother with a full schedule can feel overwhelming at times. I can relate, but am blessed that our children our older and independent. However, as a mom you will always be needed. Not only as a mother, but also as a wife and friend.

Is it possible to find a healthy balance?

The answer is yes. Find out what is making you feel as if you can’t do it all. Identify the things that are causing you stress. I have found that it helps to delegate some duties to other members of my family. Whether it is my spouse or our children.

Find out what works best for you and your family. If you had the opportunity to stop and smell the roses what would you do?

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New School Year Requires New Goals

New School Year Requires New Goals

It’s that time of year again as students get ready to go back to school. Here is a chance to talk about back to school goals. Students need to know that they have your support with a new school year.

Have you talked about new school year goals with your child?

If your child is in elementary school start out by asking simple questions. Ask what he or she hopes to learn with the new school year. Maybe they want to become a better reader or become more proficient in math.

Write it down on a piece of notebook paper and hang it up on the fridge. This way they will be able to see it as a reminder daily. Their reward will be checking off each goal as they complete it.

Evaluate Goals After One Month

If your child gets off track after a month or so sit down and talk about their goals again. Always ask how their day went. Make it a point to talk about the good and the bad things.

Getting the chance to release it all helps get it off their chest and then it becomes easier to refocus on the things that are important to them.

When your child is in middle school or high school it is a good idea that they get plenty of sleep. Tips for success include: being organized, having bottled water throughout the day and being on time. It is about going back to the basics.

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Ask Lucy: How Do I Get Him To Notice Me Again?

This week in Ask Lucy the question comes from Alexis.

“I have been married to my husband for many years and we have two teen children. We both work and find it difficult to make time as a couple. Actually I suggest going out, but all I get in return are excuses that he is too busy with work. I’m not trying to be shallow, but I also stay fit with exercise to continue being attractive for him. How do I get him to notice me again and have him look at me the way that he did when he fell in love with me? I’m grateful for our marriage, but not feeling that he realizes I’m still sexy and need that time alone with him outside of our house.”

Ah! This is a good question! Being together in a marriage for so many years takes a lot of work. I know from my own experience. As couples we tend to get busier as our children get older.

Having a family to take care of and working full-time can seem overwhelming. It doesn’t mean that you both don’t still have the wow factor though. I bet he notices you more than you think. Marriage comes with its trials and tribulations.

Some men are awesome about letting their wife know how beautiful that she still is. Yet, there are others that don’t do that, but that doesn’t mean that they are bad people. These type of men have a different way of expressing how they feel.

Stop and think of all of the wonderful qualities that your husband possesses. What made you fall in love with him? Think back to the day that you felt those butterflies in your stomach.

Do you remember how that made you feel?

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Ask Lucy

This week in Ask Lucy the question comes from Lori.

“I am a mother of two kids and work full-time. I’m also a wife, a friend and I am constantly doing stuff. I would love to start getting fit, but I do a lot of self-sabotaging. I’m tired of making excuses. I lack motivation and often wonder what I would look like if I had the body that I used to have before my beautiful children. I want to keep the spice alive as a wife, but am not sure where to go from here. My husband says that he loved me then and still loves me now. If I could start some kind of routine and diet I know that would boost my self-esteem. What can I do to get on the right track this time?”

First of all let me start by saying thank you for reaching out to me. It takes a lot of courage to bring up wanting to get fit and explaining what you have gone through. Your situation is so relatable to many.

I know it is tough when you work a full-time job plus have a family to take care of. Luckily our children are older and very independent. Don’t let that fool you though because you will always be needed. That’s not a bad thing either, I welcome it.

Start by making a list of the reasons why you want to get fit. What do you hope to gain from it? I’m not talking about pounds either. Think about the reasons why fitness would be good for you.

What would happen if you were to shed the weight and tone up?

I have found that your fitness journey is what you make of it. You can join any program, try any diet, watch a ton of videos on fitness, but in the end it is up to you.

You will always get advice on what to do and what not to do. If you work out diligently three times a week and then continue to eat the way that you’re used to guess what happens? You don’t see the results that you are looking for.

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Slowing Down Enough To Be Grateful

Ever wake up to a new day in a frenzy?

You immediately think of every task that you need to accomplish. I can promise you that there will always be laundry to do, dishes to wash or errands to run.

How do you find time to be grateful for the small things though?

You have to remember to be present in the moment. Ever have a conversation with someone and not remember anything that they said? Or picture that reversed.

When has that happened to you?

We live in a world where we are constantly in a hurry. To get to the next thing on our lists of things that should get done. When we live in this state of mind that is when we miss out on the small things.

The small things really aren’t all that little if you think about it. They are usually the moments that we encounter with those that we love. They are opportunities of happy living that can either fall in our lap or fall out of our grasp if we aren’t paying attention.

Chances where we can create meaningful memories. Think of your life as a scrapbook. Each space on the page can represent a special moment.

What do your pages look like?

Remember that your pages will include times that might not make you feel grateful. How do you put yourself in a place where you can express gratitude?

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