Sometimes as moms it feels like we must put on this facade that everything is okay. Moms can embrace not being okay. It doesn’t matter the age your children are either. Whether they are little or are in college moms feel it all.
When your children reach milestones, you feel all the emotions. Each stage is a gift, but also a reminder that your children are growing up. You celebrate them together whenever you get the chance to.
Being a mom of young men, it has been quite the journey. I have been there through it all and have so many more milestones to experience. I will welcome them, but I still feel all the feelings that come my way.
Take off the cape
I want to tell you that you don’t have to feel like you are Wonder Woman each day. When your child goes to kindergarten it’s okay to cry. That when your child goes off to college it’s okay to miss their presence in the home. By the way, you will cry then too.
Yes, people will tell you all the great things associated with these milestones. They mean well. On the other side of that is to make sure you express how you feel. Each person has their own process on dealing with these moments.
Taking Your Shortcomings from One Year to the Next
Taking your shortcomings from one year to the next is beneficial. How do you do that?
First, look at what things didn’t work for you in the past year. Maybe that was starting a new project that you never completed. Possibly, you intended on working out and losing weight, but you didn’t.
Make a list of the things that didn’t work out on a sheet of paper. Now answer as honestly as you can on why they didn’t. What could you have done differently?
Many times, you don’t succeed at something because you gave up too soon. This is part of procrastination and being human. So, give yourself some grace.
Decide what you will do this year
Look at the list of things that didn’t work along with your answers on why they did not. Take out a new sheet of paper. Make a list of the things you will decide to do.
Yes, it’s that kind of list. It’ll look super intimidating and maybe even a carbon copy of last year’s list. That’s okay.
What you are trying to do is see what you are willing to say yes to. That’s the game-changer right there. Your self-talk has a lot of say in this.
On one shoulder you have your cheerleader getting you all pumped up. Yet, on your other shoulder, you have the skeptic. The one trying to convince you that it’s a bad idea or not good enough for you.
Here is where you decide what part of yourself that you will listen to. The things that you choose to spend time on will dictate your results. Plan on dedicating time to the “yes” things on your list.
Those will be the things that will determine your success. Make yourself a priority. Even if it means saying no to old habits.
It won’t be easy at times but learn to start the process. You owe it to yourself to find out what you can do. Instead of regretting not ever trying or putting in the time.
Set yourself up for success
Check back with yourself at the end of each day. Give yourself a pat on the back for what you did accomplish. Take it one day at a time.
You have the opportunity to do some amazing things this year. Whether those things are personal goals or professional ones you get to choose. That is a big deal, my friends.
My word this year is “time.” I get to choose how I spend it and how I will respect it. It’s huge on my list because it’ll encompass all that I care about with every minute. From spending quality time with loved ones and on myself.
As you can imagine I plan on making sure I learn all that I can from last year. It’s a chance to get a fresh perspective on it all. Like I said it all goes back to my word of the year.
In the meantime, I’ll leave it at that. My future success is waiting for me. The same holds true for you. Just wait and see.
Start Doing Instead of Postponing Memorable Moments
Two of the many phrases people often say is “In a minute or One of these days.” The very phrases that have constituted the delay of enjoyment. How often have you said those phrases? Imagine that you could have a do-over.
A chance to give a different reply instead of putting it off or not doing it at all. What would that look like for you?
If you are a parent, then most likely you have been guilty of saying the above. What ends up happening is you end up missing out on a lot of memorable moments.
The busyness of our lives has gotten a hold of our ability to just be. To be able to say something other than no or not right now. At times it’s necessary. However, I’d like to bet that most of the time we can simply go with it.
Give Yourself Permission
We can allow ourselves to make memories with those that seek our undivided attention. To look up at the clouds and describe what we see with our kids. Or maybe it is to walk hand in hand with our significant other under a starlit night sky.
You see what can happen when you start to say yes instead of in a minute or saying not right now? Listening to what someone else has to say is a gift to be treasured. It shows that you value what that person has to say.
Making a child, a friend or a loved one a priority by participating during the moment. That is everything. There are so many opportunities that we tend to miss out on.
Most of the time it’s not even on purpose. The daily grind of routine habits takes us away from the very things that can be dear to our heart.
Saying no not right now ends up costing you time. It is time that is lost instead of well spent with others. What will you say yes to from now on?
The time to say yes is right now
Getting a chance to do a do-over is a big deal. Imagine all the good that can come out of it when you stop delaying the meaningful things. Allow yourself to take a break from whatever it is that you’re doing.
If your family wants your attention, then give it to them. If your child wants to build a fort, then go for it. Even if it means that you are in the middle of something else. In time they will grow up and go off to college.
They will end up growing up faster than you think and then you will wonder where all the time went. So yes, do all the things. Saying yes means not letting life pass you by.
You might have to delay getting your chores done or the task at hand incompleted. Yet, there is something special in knowing that you will be rewarded in return.
It means stopping long enough to pause and take it all in without being in a rush. That’s what living life to the fullest means when you give in to the right things. Your return of investment can’t be measured by any monetary amount.
Instead, it is of much higher value. The kind that gets remembered rather than forgotten.
December is my all-time favorite month of the year. Although it may seem like there is so much to do, it’s more than that for me. Christmas cards help you stay connected. Each year I receive Christmas cards from good friends. They have sent them faithfully to me and my family.
Seeing a familiar return address brings a smile to my face and adds more love to my heart. Now you can send e-cards but holding a card in your hand is a gift.
Each friend that takes the time to do that for me makes them more special. Don’t get me wrong all my friends are dear to me, but I’m a softie for getting a Christmas card. I love words and their added value to my life.
Friendships are meant to be treasured. Sending a card or being able to spend some time with a friend goes a long way. If distance separates you find a way to reconnect.
Find the perfect card
Go the extra mile to finding that meaningful Christmas card. It’s easier to pick something quickly but take an extra few minutes in the right one. Do it the way someone has done it for you.
What would you like your recipient to think of when they open your card?
Besides reading what is on the card, it brings back memories for me. Especially if I can remember certain things I did with that friend. It could be a mom to mom moment when our kids hung out together and so many other things.
It’s a reminder of time well spent. What do you think about when you get a card? Think of the ways that person has enhanced your life.
How do you think that you have enhanced theirs? Maybe being busy with life has caught up with you and you have lost touch. What better way to revive that than by sitting down and writing down a sentiment on a card?
Our daily lives have somewhat taken over the things that we used to do. Sure, technology has made it easier to contact others, but it isn’t always the same.
Cards make you feel something inside
Think about when someone sends you a hug by way of emoji on your phone. Now think about how it feels to get that hug in person. Cards lean more on that end when you aren’t there in real life.
Find a card that reflects your personality. So, when your friend or loved one receives it, they won’t forget it. It’ll stay memorable and fresh in their minds.
There is still time in December to brighten someone’s day with a little sentiment. Dig deep and figure out who that person is that is deserving of a beautiful card.
Finally, put a stamp on it and make your way to the closest mailbox. Then sit back and relax. Picture their surprise when they see it’s from you.
*Disclosure: At times I have the opportunity to receive a discount, service or product in exchange for sharing my experience. The following is one of those opportunities through Skin Raleigh.
Your skin care routine changes throughout the year depending on the season. In my case, it has also changed due to being in my forties. Winter skin care maintenance is essential. Currently, I have a love/hate relationship with my skin.
When I was younger, I would get blemishes and that part hasn’t changed depending on the time of the month. When I entered my thirties, I started to notice brown spots that were subtle at first. I learned that I had developed Melasma and that I had a mild case of Rosacea.
Needless to say, I didn’t sign up for either one of those things. Part of it is my ethnicity being a Latina and hormonal changes have exacerbated the symptoms. I was smart enough to seek a dermatologist and that is how I officially found out what was happening to my skin when I was in my thirties.
Most recently, I made an appointment with Skin Raleigh and decided to try a HydraFacial. Chelsea was great informing me of what I could expect with my first time. Due to having Melasma, she omitted the LED light step because of it.
The treatment takes less than one hour
A HydraFacial is good for any type of skin. Microdermabrasion tends to feel more invasive for some people including myself. That is why I opted to get this type of treatment and more so to help with my hyperpigmentation.
The process involves a wand with a special tip that serves as a mini vacuum to suction out the impurities. It also releases special serums during the treatment. It feels very light and a cool sensation across your skin. It includes exfoliation, extraction, hydration and a booster specific to your needs.
Some might experience a slight tingling during the treatment, but it is normal. You are in and out under an hour.
I would love to say I am one of those people that can post the beautiful post-glow pic, but I am the opposite. My face is sensitive and afterward, I had redness on different parts of my face.
Being self-conscious I was not ready to show that pic to the world. However, in order to be fair, I decided to share the before and after photos. For the record, this one is out of my comfort zone, but transparency is something that I believe in. Actually. its empowering to be vulnerable here.
The good news is that the redness does go away after a while. I can tell you that I did put makeup on after my appointment because I had errands to run. That evening I took my makeup off and my skin felt as clean as it did that morning after my treatment.
Prevention is the key to maintaining healthy skin
Things to remember no matter what your age is to use sunscreen daily. Go invest in proper skin care. Hydration is important in keeping your skin moisturized.
For midlife women, it isn’t too late to start now. Go to a professional that can figure out what is happening to your skin. There are ways to reverse certain types of skin damage. A professional can help recommend treatments, products or direct you to a more specialized path such as laser, fillers or even Botox.
Past neglect in skin care can take its toll on your skin. However, the faster that you start the more likely you will be able to improve the condition of your skin. Doesn’t that sound worth it?
I encourage you to try a HydraFacial and see what you think. For me, I look forward to seeing improvement in my skin tone over time. I believe in enhancing what you’re born with and a little TLC goes a long way.
It takes careful planning to win with any diet, complete a project or stay the course as an entrepreneur. I came up with 3 tips to help you stay consistent. As a writer, I have noticed my highs and lows. Also, I have seen the same trend with my fitness goals.
To become better at something, you must stay consistent. Ever notice that happens when you first start a diet? However, the minute that you slip you fall back into your old habits and you are back to square one.
It helps by starting off with a few steps. Habits take time to become successful. The most important thing is to begin the process.
Writing it down
First, get out a notebook and write down your plan. Think of the steps that you need to put into place. The things that will take you from point A to point B. It doesn’t have to be complicated.
The main idea is to get it all down on paper. This simple step will help you reap the rewards in the short and the long term. Plus, it’s a great way to become organized with your thoughts.
Reevaluate your “why”
Second, ask yourself why it’s important for you to stay consistent. This triggers your “why.” What’s in it for you? Maybe you are doing something for yourself or for someone else. Whatever it is figure out why you want to keep doing it.
If it is a new fitness routine, why do you need to be consistent? Could it be because you were bored with what you were doing? Maybe your old routine wasn’t working for you. Possibly the routine wasn’t the real reason it didn’t work.
That is how consistency plays a big factor in all that you are trying to succeed at. How many times have you started and not finished something because it got too hard? It’s about creating new habits and shedding the ones that didn’t work.
Believe that you can
Finally, the third thing is to believe in yourself. You can’t become consistent if you don’t. Faith in what you are trying to do is everything. Do whatever it takes to instill it in your heart, mind, and spirit.
When you start doing that it makes you more confident. It doesn’t mean that some things may not scare or intimidate you, but you will be ready for those moments. Confidence will help you project it from the inside out. It ends up becoming more visible in your life.
Consistency is what will get you closer to the completion of your goals. It’s a partnership that you create with yourself. You make a pact to get it done.
You make it a point to show up even on the days that you don’t feel like it. Remember 2018 isn’t over yet. You have plenty of time to get into the process.
So, here’s to you for what you are about to recommit to. Think about how much better you’ll be for it. Taking a piece of what is important to you and making it the best that it can be.
Ever get back from a conference fired up to apply everything that you learned? If you haven’t then I highly recommend that you consider the What Women Want National Conference in 2019. I came back from this conference so excited to move forward with my dreams and goals.
The theme this year was to Go Big. Judy Goss put together a conference that had something for everyone. There were a variety of speakers and breakout sessions to choose from.
When you consider attending a conference do your research and be open-minded to what is being taught. There is always something valuable that you can take away from it.
Remember that not every single part of a conference may be a fit for you. This usually depends on the topic and who it is geared towards. Examine the parts that you think might be for you. How can you apply them to what you are doing now?
Fitness and Inspiration
Cathryn Marshall of Simple Fat Burn was a great speaker talking about diet, nutrition and fitness. All things that I am familiar with. I was reminded that I needed to up my water intake. She talked about sugar being in a lot of foods including some fruits and vegetables.
Even 10 minutes of exercise at home is beneficial. It is easy to make things more complicated than what they must be. She reminded us about getting our daily dose of greens too.
Nikki Walter was there with her daughter Addie to talk about their journey. There were some heartfelt moments throughout her story. It’s easy to be inspired by such a beautiful woman that is a hard worker and still finds a way to balance it all.
She was the perfect example of someone holding down a full-time job, a fitness powerhouse and a wonderful mom. The kind of woman that gives other women hope that they can do it too.
Lesley Jane Seymour was a great speaker as well. I connected with her talk. She is all about reinvention in middle age through her platform called Covey Club. I enjoyed her strength and examples of being resilient through some hard times.
Amy Newmark publisher of Chicken Soup for the Soul shared inspiration from some of her books. I have been a huge fan for many years. I couldn’t leave without asking her for a tip on writing for her someday.
The good news is that her tip resonated with me especially on my flight home. I was reading one of the stories when there was a light bulb moment for me. That is what many people can take away from attending a conference. That golden nugget that will be the game changer.
We all have those epiphanies when we are strongly engaged to a speaker. It is about being a listener first, asking questions and then applying those principles. Without the application you stay in the same place.
Put in the Work
Anyone can attend a conference, but not everyone will do the work afterwards. I know that I wasn’t going to be that person that didn’t. Have you ever attended a conference that made you want to do more? Aside from learning things you get the opportunity to network.
You get the chance to establish new friendships. The in between moments when you can talk with each other are the best. People tell you their story and their plans.
What I loved about this conference is that it made you want to go after your goals. This time it made me feel more determined more than ever. Let’s face it when you hit midlife you start realizing that you don’t have all the time in the world.
So, to all the younger people out there go for it! For all my midlife people keep going and don’t stop. You will reap the rewards before you know it.
If you are looking to change your current situation find a conference near you. Buddy up with a friend. Start local then eventually travel to one that is 6 hours or less from you.
Don’t make up all the excuses of why you can’t. I almost wasn’t going to be at this conference this year. However, I made the decision to do whatever it took to be there.
Your Time Is Now
Judy Goss is someone that I admire and respect so much that I knew I had to be there. I am so grateful to her for what she has created and this community of women helps us empower each other. Attending a conference like this makes us see the bigger picture.
Yes, your time is now because we all get the same number of hours in a day. I left this conference feeling so pumped up to Go Big. I can tell you that a year went by fast since I attended last year’s conference. It may be Fall of 2018, but so much can be accomplished before the end of this year.
Pursuing a dream is comparable to the work that you put in when you work out. You have a combination of sweat, tears and continuous hard work. It’s an almost love/hate relationship. Here I am, and I’ve arrived at the second year of my Blog Anniversary.
Time has surely flown on by. Every single step has been worth it. That is how far your passion takes you when you are willing. I stress on the word willing because that is the game changer.
Some people don’t know that I’ve been a writer for so many years. I was a writer before I ever became a blogger. I wrote for free for a while before I made a dime at writing.
However, my commitment is what has kept me going. Have I always been committed? Well I can tell you that I didn’t always feel like staying committed. There is a difference.
You could say that I took a hiatus from writing on a regular basis. Now that I’ve hit mid-life I realize that I don’t have any time to waste. No waiting for the right time either.
It’s a sink or swim mentality. Sounds harsh doesn’t it. That is what it takes to make it with anything that you’ve never done.
Have you ever felt like quitting something because it got too hard?
Keep Going Do It Anyway
That is what a dream does for you. You face the unknowns like a leaf shaking in the wind. You stumble and fall through all the uncertainties but manage to get back up.
You keep on going despite how hard it gets. These past couple of years has taught me about: grit, patience, gratitude, doubt, excitement, being consistent and staying committed to the course.
I have a strong passion for writing inspirational posts and articles that make you feel good. It gives me a lot of joy when a reader tells me something resonated with them. That right there is why I write.
If I can touch a heart, then I’ve done my job. I am super grateful for the friendships that I have made through blogging and for the wonderful opportunities that have come my way.
Be Willing to Continue Learning
I’m continually learning new things. You’d better believe there is never a dull moment. I still don’t know everything, and I’m blessed to work with Linda Mendible because she helps with the behind the scenes that I may not know the answer to with technology. On top of that she is an experienced blogger as well. She is my saving grace.
Honestly, I wouldn’t want to know how to do everything. Part of the excitement with a dream is learning along the way. You figure out what works and what doesn’t. If you can’t do it alone then you ask for help.
I’m finally at a point where I am working on my own book after all these years. I also started my own podcast Arrows & Lattes on top of everything else. That’s the beauty of sticking with something and staying consistent. Sometimes I’m curious about the future and what it will bring my way.
In the meantime, I focus on what I can bring to the table. I aim to inspire, encourage and make a difference whenever I can. If I can pursue my dream all while having a family and a full-time job, then you can follow your dream too.
So, here’s to my second year doing what I love and celebrating my blog anniversary. A huge thank you to all that have come along the journey with me. I know my muse is proud of me, but most importantly so am I.
Often people dread getting older. Especially, during midlife. They feel the clock ticking and it starts to feel like a race. In this post I’ll share my 3 ways a birthday inspires you to keep going.
Embrace Your Age
Embrace the age you are now in this moment and stage in your life. Pull out a notebook and list the things that you love doing. Do any of those things inspire you? They should if you love them.
Some of the things that you enjoyed 10 years ago might not be what you enjoy anymore. As you grow older you start to evolve into a different person. There is a beauty in that when you discover what makes you happy now.
Think about where you are now with the activities that you find yourself drawn to. Maybe you participate in a sport that you weren’t sure of as a kid. I was that kid and now I’m an archer.
Getting another birthday under your belt gives you more opportunities. You get to decide what will inspire you to do things that were forgotten or postponed.
Complete the Things on Your Bucket List
Remember all the stuff that you always thought you’d do. Yes, I’m talking about your bucket list. Do you want to travel the world? Set up a plan to go on your dream destination one step at a time.
If you don’t have the finances, start saving little by little. Examine your bucket list and see what you can do right now. Sometimes it’s not as hard as you think.
Look at having another birthday as a reason to celebrate what makes you unique. If you compared your bucket list with someone else’s how would it be different?
Set up a plan to make these wishes a reality. That should excite you and motivate you to get the ball rolling. Talk with a loved one to help you figure it out.
Keep Moving Forward
You have reached a milestone with a birthday. What are you grateful for? Think of the memories that you have made in the past year. What inspires you to keep moving forward?
Often there are people that could use a thank you. In your circle of loved ones and friends who has shown you the most love and support with your endeavors? Pick up the phone and say thank you.
Get together with the people that you are grateful for having in your life. They matter just as much as you do.
Here’s to another birthday whether you have already celebrated or have one coming up. We all get those candles on our cake. They serve to remind us that we still have time to make those wishes.
So, make your wish and keep moving towards that thing you are meant to accomplish.